Grandiosity

"...Grandiosity is the flip side of debilitating shame."

- From "Shame and Guilt Masters of Disguise" by Jane Middelton-Moz

 

“Grandiosity is always a cover for despair.”

- A Course In Miracles, T-9.VII.49

 

How many times in my life have I been grandiose? Too many times to count. In what ways have I been grandiose? Judging others, giving unsolicited advice as if I know what's best, chasing after accomplishments in various spheres, one-upping others. These are just a few that come to mind but, there are countless other manifestations in my 38 years of living.

I want to leave my grandiosity behind, I no longer need it. It was an attempt at esteeming myself but it was done in a dysfunctional way. Grandiosity pushes real relationships away. I'm ready to love and be loved for just being.

When I am in the presence of someone who is grandiose, I will remember that under their grandiosity is a hurt child and instead of judging myself as better than, I will hold loving and healing thoughts towards that person.

Where can you go?

When there is too much pain in the past and too much fear in the future, where else can you find solice except the present? 

Chapter 26, Section IX - The Immediacy of Salvation - from the Text of A Course In Miracles, speaks to our association with time/space - both are forms of  the same thing - the idea of distance, and both are imagined.

Behavior Teaches the Underlying Beliefs

A Course In Miracles sets forth the idea that all behavior teaches the underlying beliefs that motivate the behavior.

Over 2,000 years ago a man name Jesus of Nazareth was crucified.  The Passion and the Crucifixion were behaviors. What beliefs were Jesus' persecutors teaching? It can simply be summed up as this: Attack is strength and attack will get you what you want.

What beliefs did Jesus teach throughout his life and during the Passion and Crucifixion? It can be simply summed up as this:  Love is strength.

Who's beliefs are currently winning in our world? It seems to me that this world is still trying to teach the same thing the Romans and Jewish leaders were teaching 2,000 years ago, that is, attack is strength and Love is weakness.  

May I ask you, how is that working for us?

The Romans and the Jewish elders believed that if they killed Jesus they would weaken the ideas he was teaching. How did that work out for them? Did attack get them what they wanted? Here we are 2,000 years later and his ideas are still alive but his body is not.

Do not let this idea be persecuted and crucified anymore: Love is strength, attack is weakness.  This idea must be resurrected from your unconscious mind.  It's your choice. It has nothing to do with anybody else or anything else.

Father, please let me live in Love. Let my behaviors teach only Love. What we teach, we learn so I know if I want to learn what Love is, I must teach Love in every instant I find myself, no matter how fearful the external circumstances seem to be.

Idolatry

If you don't believe that everyone is equal, you must believe in idolatry. The only question for you to answer then, in regard to any relationship and any situation that arises within a relationship is: Are you the idol or the idolater?

Being either the idol or idolater will hurt you.

At times you have accepted the role of idolater in the vain imagining that at some point it will be your turn to be the idol.  How appealing is it to allow yourself to be a slave in the dim hope that sometime soon you'll get to be the master, only to return to the role of slave shortly thereafter?

All relationships must be based on equality if you want them to be Real Relationships - everything else is a compromise.  You have compromised and you have asked others to compromise.  Put an end to this sick dance and you will know what freedom is and you will know the gifts Real Relationship offer.

 

“Seek not outside yourself. For it will fail, and you will weep each time an idol falls.”

-A Course In Miracles T-29.VIII.43

 

Who lied to us?

Who taught us that we have a finite supply of love?

Who taught us that attack is strength and love is weakness? 

We have been lied to and the world we see shows us these lies everywhere we look.

It is time for us to wake up from this nightmare of scarcity we call "life." This is a mockery of Life.

That will work, until it doesn't.

We are a society of escape artists.  Everyone here is at some stage of grief, but unfortunately most of us seem to get stuck in the denial phase.  Denial is such a strong, pervasive and insidious thing.  It reaches out and touches everything if we are unconscious of it.  Everything we think we are and we think we want from this mind made, illusion of a self, will not last.

We run from our grief in so many different ways - workaholism, pornography, food obsession, parenting, working out, shopping, religious ritual, alcoholism, living vicariously through children, addiction to drama, addiction to anger, caretaking, sex, television, social media, a romantic relationship or a combination of multiple "less meaningful" romantic relationships, substance abuse, recovery rituals, accumulation of wealth...there is really no end to the many ways we run. 

These ways of escape work, until they don't.

No matter the form of escape we choose, unhappiness, sadness, pain, and despair will rise again once the newness of our new, false salvation wears off.  It's inevitable.  It's a flawed plan because it's source, the ego, is flawed in every way possible and every conclusion it makes is false and will lead to pain and suffering. 

Anything can be used as a tool for denial and the avoidance of grief.  It always comes down to what's underneath it, what's driving the ideas and beliefs which manifest in behavior?  

There can only ever be two drivers: Love or fear.

Beware though, the ego is so good at what it does that if you're not careful it can make it seem like you are making a choice from a place of Love, but underneath it's source is actually fear.  

There is only one escape.  There is only one way out.  There is only One to turn to....your True Self, the one that never left it's Creator.  The only way out is through true communion with God which will extend out into everything here in this world of insanity and look upon all things with Love.

Father, may you grant me the vision to see all the forms of denial I use so that I may be open to true healing. 

 

 

"Self" Esteem

“Self esteem” in ego terms means nothing more than that the ego has deluded itself into accepting its reality and is therefore temporarily less predatory. This “self esteem” is always vulnerable to stress, a term which actually refers to a condition in which the delusion of the ego’s reality is threatened. This produces either ego deflation or ego inflation, resulting in either withdrawal or attack.”

 - A Course In Miracles

#ACIM #unconditionallove #forgiveness #reallove #perfectlove